1. |
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There's a woman in a crown talking on the telly
A woman in a crown talking 'bout austerity
A woman in a crown, some sorta ceremony
A woman in a crown, and she's tellin' me
That she lives in the biggest council house I've ever seen
She lives a life of luxury that you might call obscene
She lives in the biggest council house I've ever seen
A lifetime on benefits, God Save The Queen
There's a woman on the telly in a million pound hat
She's talking on the telly 'bout a welfare cap
Not sure the civil list's included in that
And she can still afford to buy a Right To Buy flat
Though she lives in the biggest council house I've ever seen
She lives a life of luxury that you might call obscene
She lives in the biggest council house I've ever seen
A lifetime on benefits, God Save The Queen
There's a woman on the telly talkin' 'bout the Tories
A woman on the telly tellin' aspiration stories
She waves a royal finger to show Europe where the door is
While we pay for her family and food for her corgis
'Cos she lives in the biggest council house I've ever seen
She lives a life of luxury that you might call obscene
She lives in the biggest council house I've ever seen
A lifetime on benefits, God Save The Queen
The woman in the crown don't like you gettin' high
The woman in the crown don't like your human rights
The woman in the crown kissed your privacy goodbye
The woman in the crown don't like your right to strike
And she lives in the biggest council house I've ever seen
She lives a life of luxury that you might call obscene
She lives in the biggest council house I've ever seen
A lifetime on benefits, God Save The Queen
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2. |
Tag Team Time
04:22
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Good evening grapple fans once again
It's tag team time from number ten
In the red corner Jezza defending his belts
In the blue corner, there's everyone else
It's Saturday tea time on ITV
But standing on the tag is the BBC
Kent Walton on the commentary
Let's hand you over to our MC
Ladies and gentlemen
There is a change to the scheduled programme
I'm very sorry to have to tell you
That Jeremy Corbyn........
…....................is here
This Daily Politics show
Will be decided by two falls
Two submissions
Or a knockout
Good evening grapple fans once again
It's tag team time from number ten
In the red corner Jezza defending his belts
In the blue corner, there's everyone else
The crowd are already with Corbyn
You can hear them willing him to win
But the Laura Kuenssberg's got him in a headlock
And now she's tagging Nick Robinson in
Half-nelson that's old school
And Simon Dansczuk's bending the rules!
Ay yai yai, that's not fair
His corner resigning live on air
Good evening grapple fans once again
It's tag team time from number ten
In the red corner Jezza defending his belts
In the blue corner, there's everyone else
Seconds away, round two
I hope that Corbyn can see this through
Trying to tag McDonnell, coming up for air
But Bomber Creasy just hit him with a chair
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
It's OK he's back on his feet
Corbyn's a hard opponent to beat
So that's all grapple fans, until next week
Have a good week
Yes next week grapple fans once again
It's tag team time from number ten
Corbyn's a hard opponent to beat
So have a good week ….until next week
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3. |
George of The Jungle
04:42
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They say that he's a Syrian
His mum was a Palestinian
His dad was a notable Christian
So what's he doing here?
He's a man with military expertise
I'm sure that we could use skills like his
If you need a dragon slaying he's the bee's knees
So what's he doing here?
George is stuck in the Jungle
He can't get past Calais
George is stuck in the Jungle
It's no place for a patron saint
The media are calling him all kinds of names
He's a migrant here to make all kinds of claims
Dehumanisation and shame
Saying “What's he doing here?”
The prime minister called him a swarm
But he's escaping from a brutal war
One that we're responsible for
That's what he's doing here
But George is stuck in the Jungle
He can't get past Calais
George is stuck in the Jungle
It's no place for a patron saint
Here's here for our help and no mistake
It's help we can give and help he needs to take
He's a fellow human being for fuck's sake
It's what he's doing here
He's here to work while our asylum he seeks
He ain't here for thirty-seven pounds a week
No way to treat a dragon-slayer so to speak
It's what we're doing here
But George is stuck in the Jungle
He can't get past Calais
George is stuck in the Jungle
It's no place for a patron saint
Stick you're barbed wire and your border guards
The solution to this problem ain't very hard
Stop starting wars in other folks back yards
It's what we're doing here
Your cross of St George carries a massive taint
If you tolerate racism, tolerant you ain't
It's no way to treat your own patron saint
And it's what we're doing here
But George is stuck in the Jungle
He can't get past Calais
George is stuck in the Jungle
It's no place for a patron saint
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4. |
Cheer Up Mate
01:39
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Cheer up mate, it's never gonna happen
Ain't a Syrian in Christendom that wants your job
So point your opposition at the government's position
Not the poor bloke running from the bomb
Cheer up mate, it's never gonna happen
Your spare bed's safe from the PM's swarm
There's hundred's of rooms in Buckingham Palace
And we pay the old lady there to keep them warm
Cheer up mate, it's never gonna happen
Ain't a Syrian in Christendom that wants your job
So point your opposition at the government's position
Not the poor bloke running from the bomb
Cheer up mate, it's never gonna happen
Your culture's been the same for centuries
Successive immigration is success for the nation
The best population is diverse you see
Cheer up mate, it's never gonna happen
Ain't a Syrian in Christendom that wants your job
So point your opposition at the government's position
Not the poor bloke running from the bomb
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5. |
Victoria Says
04:59
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They're fruitcakes
Loonies
Closet racists
Let's take this analysis
Back to basics
Let's look at UKIP
In a dispassionate way
Let's look at UKIP
And what they say
Godfrey Bloom, for example
Said women are sluts
Clean behind your fridges ladies
It's a must
And Roger Helmer, he said you
Can choose your sexuality
Just like choosing milk and sugar
In your tea
But Victoria, Victoria
Victoria says
Victoria, Victoria
Victoria says
What happens when the renewable energy runs out?
What happens when the renewable energy runs out?
What happens when the renewable energy runs out?
What happens when the renewable energy runs out?
Stuart Agnew said babies
Get in the way
Julia Reid said Islam
Has no place in the UK
Nigel Farage doesn't like
The Romanians next door
Or Polish speakers on the bus
Or anyone poor
But Victoria, Victoria
Victoria says
Victoria, Victoria
Victoria says
What happens when the renewable energy runs out?
What happens when the renewable energy runs out?
What happens when the renewable energy runs out?
What happens when the renewable energy runs out?
Bill Etheridge thinks golliwog dolls
Are OK
Paul Nuttall hates elephants
Voted for the ivory trade
Silvester gave the world gay weather
From god's right hand
Godfrey Bloom, remember Godfrey
Talked of Bongo Bongo Land
But Victoria, Victoria
Victoria says
Victoria, Victoria
Victoria says
What happens when the renewable energy runs out?
What happens when the renewable energy runs out?
What happens when the renewable energy runs out?
What happens when the renewable energy runs out?
Fruitcakes, loonies, closet racists
In the UK
Fruitcakes, loonies closet racists
And what they say
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6. |
Hardwork
03:23
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We're a hardworking band, we're a hardworking Family
with hardworking lyrics and hardworking melody,
hardworking rhythms and hardworking rhymes,
we're hardworking singing for these hardworking times
In a hardworking garden under hardworking trees,
slagging off the wasps to the hard working bees,
drinking hardworking beer under a hardworking sun,
we're hardworking boozers once the hardworking's done
We're a hardworking band, we're a hardworking Family
with hardworking lyrics and hardworking melody,
hardworking rhythms and hardworking rhymes,
we're hardworking singing for these hardworking times
Hardworking crooks commit hardworking crime,
and hardworking prisoners do hardworking time,
behind hardworking walls and in hardworking yards
under hardworking lock and key and hardworking guards.
We're a hardworking band, we're a hardworking Family
with hardworking lyrics and hardworking melody,
hardworking rhythms and hardworking rhymes
we're hardworking singing for these hardworking times
Hardworking Lycra on a hardworking jogger
pass a hardworking motorist whose thoughts are quite improper,
hardworking cyclists on hardworking bikes
ride on hardworking pavements and run hardworking lights.
We're a hardworking band, we're a hardworking Family
with hardworking lyrics and hardworking melody,
hardworking rhythms and hardworking rhymes
we're hardworking singing for these hardworking times
Hardworking folk live on their hardworking wits
suffer hardworking cuts to their hardworking benefits
the hardworking NHS is hardworking toast
like the hardworking railways and hardworking post.
We're a hardworking band, we're a hardworking Family
with hardworking lyrics and hardworking melody,
hardworking rhythms and hardworking rhymes
we're hardworking singing for these hardworking times
The hardworking pundit in his hardworking rambles
tells of hardworking budgetary omnishambles
a hardworking phrase, sound hardworking bite;
hardworking words don't make it hardworking alright
We're a hardworking band, we're a hardworking Family
with hardworking lyrics and hardworking melody,
hardworking rhythms and hardworking rhymes
we're hardworking singing for these hardworking times
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7. |
IDS Land
03:39
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There's travellers living in Sainsbury's car park
Locals are complaining that they don't pay any tax
I don't see 'em burning their Take That albums
Don't see 'em taking their Vodafone's back
There's travellers on the field in Sewardstone Road
A militia being formed on a Facebook page
Some people think an action group is just for talking
Some people are planning some GBH, GBH, GBH
It's casual racism
No escapin' it here
All is not well, all is not well, all is not well
It's getting' out of hand
All is not well, all is not well, all is not well
In Duncan Smith Land
A helicopter flying over the houses
A helicopter flying all bloody day
Apparently they're chasing illegal Romainians
That's OK but they're keeping me awake
And they're living in the Guide Hut on Kings Head Hill
There's a whole shanty town off of Advent Way
Don't care about their problems. Consider voting UKIP
Just wish the foreigners would go away, go away, go away
It's casual racism
No escapin' it here
All is not well, all is not well, all is not well
It's getting' out of hand
All is not well, all is not well, all is not well
In Duncan Smith Land
There's a homeless man living in Larkswood Park
Have you seen the queues for the Doctor's Surgery
No one wants to walk there after dark
I blame the immigrants, they got here early
And they're doggin' in the bushes at the back of my house
I'm tryin' not to look, no I don't know who
The council won't cut the trees, the gypsies will
It's so confusing I dunno what to do, dunno what to do, dunno what to do
It's casual racism
No escapin' it here
All is not well, all is not well, all is not well
It's getting' out of hand
All is not well, all is not well, all is not well
In Duncan Smith Land
Iain Duncan Smith Land
Iain Duncan Smith Land
Iain Duncan Smith Land
Iain Duncan Smith Land
They're Tory-voting
Immigrant scapegoating
Enoch Powell
Apocalypse-approaching
Hate-promoting
They're not joking
I don't understand
Iain Duncan Smith Land
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8. |
None Of The Above
03:42
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Feel let down by politics?
Feel let down by the system, and the man?
Feel like burning down the ballot box?
Well, if you wanna vote for None Of The Above, you can.
You wanna vote for none of the above?
In Chingford and Woodford Green you can
He'll be the first name on your ballot paper
Above, None Of The: He's your man
He's a one man band of constitutional reform
Says a local referendum should be the norm
I'd like to see his manifesto for this town
But it seems his web site is permanently down
You wanna vote for none of the above?
In Chingford and Woodford Green you can
He'll be the first name on your ballot paper
Above, None Of The: He's your man
What about the economy?
Let's have a referendum
What about the NHS?
Let's have a referendum
What about the war?
Let's have a referendum
Let's have a referendum
About the referendum
You wanna vote for none of the above?
In Chingford and Woodford Green you can
He'll be the first name on your ballot paper
Above, None Of The: He's your man
He got 202 votes
That's about half of one percent
On a ticket of mass consultation
And a bid to increase unemployment
You wanna vote for none of the above?
In Chingford and Woodford Green you can
He'll be the first name on your ballot paper
Above, None Of The: He's your man
He blamed anti-social youth
His cuts would make a Tory proud
His campaign manager was his mum
And his name on the ballot was the wrong way round
You wanna vote for none of the above?
In Chingford and Woodford Green you can
He'll be the first name on your ballot paper
Above, None Of The: He's your man
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9. |
Pop-Up Punx
02:02
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There's a Heritage Lottery funded thing in Hoe St
A lottery funded workshop thing in an Awesomestow street
From Small Wonder in Walthamstow
It's small wonder in Awesomestow
That all that we really wanna know
Is what the fuck is a pop-up punk?
Yeah you're old school.... you're a real die-hard
With Never Mind The Bollocks on your credit card
Who's that sell out selling butter?
Who's that part-time in the gutter?
Enough to make a Strummer splutter
What the fuck is a pop-up punk?
Here they come, la la la la la la, la la la la la la the pop-up punks......
There's a Heritage Lottery funded thing in your street
A cheeky Nandos, multiplex cinema, shipping out the poor street
Commodifying your memories
Packaged up with booking fees
Can somebody tell us please
What the fuck is a pop-up punk?
Here they come, la la la la la la, la la la la la la the pop-up punks, the pop-up punks......
Here they come, la la la la la la, la la la la la la the pop-up punks,................what the fuck is a pop-up punk?
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10. |
The Side of the Fox
03:30
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It's not illegal if only rich people do it
Dolled up in their red coats on Boxing Day
It's not illegal to try to stop it
But the coppers only come to chase the sabs away
It's not illegal if the rich people say it
It's their parliament makin' up the laws
It's not illegal to make 'em stick to it
There's laws that they like, and there's laws that they ignore
'Cos Cameron supports the hunt
And Clarkson supports the hunt
And Farage supports the hunt
Well, we all knew......
Cruelty's a capitalist game
They treat human beings just the same
So if you're taking sides we've given ours a name:
We're on the side of the fox
It's not illegal if only rich people do it
Set the boys and the dogs after the fox gone to ground
It's not illegal if the rich people want it
Like kettling a protest, pushing students around
The rich man wants to set his hounds on you
But you're in Parliament Square, what a shame
He might have to settle for the Boys in Blue
But it's a chase on horseback just the same
'Cos Cameron supports the hunt
And Clarkson supports the hunt
And Farage supports the hunt
Well, we all knew......
Cruelty's a capitalist game
They treat human beings just the same
So if you're taking sides we've given ours a name:
We're on the side of the fox
The fox's scent or the people's dissent
The toffs will want to hunt it down
With or without lawful consent
In the field, in the forest, in the town
Make a stand
Raise your hand
Join the band
Make it stop
We're on the side of the fox
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11. |
Sniffin' Gluten
03:27
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Jemima’s up the duff but she doesn’t want to get fat
It’s all about her waist not the baby’s health and all that
She’s basking in the glow
Of a feature in Hello
She’s sniffing gluten
And Ben is an addict he proper can’t get enough
Of artisan bread with an artisan craft crust
He’s basking in the glow
Of his morning sourdough
Sniffing gluten
Sniffing gluten in Shoreditch and the Hampstead borders
Sniffing gluten in Chelsea under dieticians orders
So grab your Bugaboo
And a plastic bag or two
For sniffing gluten
Sniffing gluten in the Village it’s the latest craze
Sniffing gluten as two of your five-a-days
So grab your Bugaboo
And a plastic bag or two
For sniffing gluten
She can’t help sniffing gluten, it makes her really ill
Her disease is now in fashion, that’s the bitterest pill
There’s no afterglow
From the places that she goes
Sniffing gluten
Jemima’s up the duff but she doesn’t want to get fat
What the actual fuck is fucking up with that?
Someone have a word
Hasn’t she heard
Of sniffing gluten
Sniffing gluten in Shoreditch and the Hampstead borders
Sniffing gluten in Chelsea under dieticians orders
So grab your Bugaboo
And a plastic bag or two
For sniffing gluten
Sniffing gluten in the Village it’s the latest craze
Sniffing gluten as two of your five-a-days
So grab your Bugaboo
And a plastic bag or two
For sniffing gluten
Didn’t we used to know a magazine about that?
Now I wanna sniff some gluten
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12. |
A Song for Sonja
01:58
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Facebollocks
Wilkobastards
Virginfuckin media
Crocs on her feet, tits and teeth
Facebollocks, Wilkobastards, Virginfuckinmedia
Tolpuddle Martyrs, Grace Petrie
Cider in a box pissed, Billy Bragg guest list
Rock chick hair, never trusted Tony Blair
Facebollocks, Wilkobastards, Virginfuckinmedia
Taught a generation of activists to swear
Facebollocks, Wilkobastards, Virginfuckinmedia
A pint of Piddle from Spanish Lidl, shopping in Waitrose but don't go to Tescos
Facebollocks, Wilkobastards, Virginfuckinmedia
Biscuits, cider and Saddoes
Facebollocks, Wilkobastards, Virginfuckinmedia
Biscuits, cider and saddoes
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Steve White & The Protest Family UK
"[They] remind me of The Clash" - Basil Gabbidon (Steel Pulse)
"I love this band. Punk minstrels who
chronicle our times with humour, passion and immense talent." - Bob Oram, Morning Star
"Everybody please visit: Steve White & The Protest Family" - Tom Robinson
"Constructive political music" - Joe Solo
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